They Saved Hitler’s Brain
Genre: WTF, Thriller?
Director: David Bradley
Stars: Walter Stocker, Audrey Caire, Carlos Rivas
There’s a lot of catchy titles in the Grindhouse genre, titles that instantly intrigue you like Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS, Sweet Sweetbacks Badassssss Song, Hobo With a Shotgun. Those are some great, fun flicks. However there are also films that have great titles but fail to live up to the hype of its name at all, 90% of movies with a mention in the title (Fast Zombies With Gun, Sexy Nights of the Living Dead), Asylum’s creatively titled but ultimately dull flicks like Titanic II or Nazis at the Center of the Earth. This movie, They Saved Hitler’s Brain is one of these latter types of films, intriguing title that ultimately fails. It’s accurate, “they” (Nazis, who else?) saved Hitler’s brain. However Hitler’s brain plays such a little part in this clusterfuck of a film that it really could have been anybody’s brain. They Saved Mussolini’s Brain would, honestly, be the same film – probably better too since it would lack all the pointless attempts at early Nazisploitation.
They Saved Hitler’s Brain is mostly just huge chunks of the 1963 movie Madmen of Mandoras. In fact look up that latter movie on imdb and what do you find? The poster art is just They Saved Hitler’s Brain – because it’s THE SAME MOVIE! Madmen of Mandoras was made in 1963 and sucked – hard. It was about, get this, nazis concocting a plot to save Hitler’s Brain. Director David Bradley took that piece of crap, shot a bunch of “new stuff” and smashed the two movies together. It doesn’t work. Scenes shot in the late 60s clearly clash with those shot in the early part of the decade, hairstyles are different, the quality of the film is different, the cars on the streets, the buildings in the background, every damn thing. This movie doesn’t know when the hell it wants to take place, like its just playing pong with a time machine.
Like the movie its cannibalized, They Saved Hitler’s Brain is about a group of spies that uncover an Nazi plot where they have saved Hitler’s brain. Hitler’s head is kept alive through “the wonders of science”and is barking out orders from a tropical island base. that’s really all the story that can be salvaged from this trash. It’s like watching The Brain that Wouldn’t Die dry hump a beaten paperback copy of Ira Levin’s The Boys From Brazil: it’s not really entertaining to just smash the two things together and you’ll ultimately just end up with a broken DVD.
The movie is one of the laziest things I’ve ever seen. There’s background noises for no reason at all, sloppy editing and even one scene at the end where a character is just not dubbed. Seriously, who lets something like that happen? All the other characters have voices, one of them is even talking to this woman who just flaps her mouth in silence while people react to what she “said.” Because it’s all mashed together so poorly the movie is a fucking CHORE to follow and that effort is never worth it because, ultimately it’s a boring story. Oh, and, spoiler alert, Hitler’s head catches on fire.
If I want to watch Nazi faces burn and melt I would just watch the climax of Raiders of the Lost Ark again. I was nearly going to say that this wasn’t as bad as an earlier film on the Pure Terror collection, that god-awful The Dungeon of Harrow garbage. However, thinking about it, The Saved Hitler’s Brain is much worse. The former movie at least tried to tell a story, and it had some potential with that leprosy scene – this fucking movie, on the other hand, is just a party favor bag of failure and feces. Nobody cared about this movie, nobody tried and it shows. I don’t even think anybody watched it before they gave it a theatrical release – its just so stupidly random and lazy that it hurts. Hopefully this will remain the worst film on this set as I don’t want to have to sit through a They Saved Hitler’s Brain tier of shit again.
Next up on the Pure Terror DVD set… The Thirsty Dead. Because apparently zombies need water too? I don’t know.