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Best of 2014

Before I get started, let me remind you that my opinions do not reflect the opinions of the Geek Juice staff. I would also like to add that I had no interest in taking a poll to complete my batch of favorites because I don’t care what the majority of viewers think. This is a list I concocted from my own demented perception. Unfortunately, I do not have enough time to write long, drawn out paragraphs explaining each selection. There is a lot to cover so lets get this party started…

Best Performance in a Television Series:
Carrie Coon as Nora Durst

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Best Performance in a Television Series Runner Up:
Finn Wittrock as Dandy in American Horror Story: Freak Show

Some of you may scoff over this selection. That’s fine and dandy (See what I did there.) Your eye for talent obviously does not extend to the same level as mine.

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Best Death Scene in a Television Series:
Joffrey Lannister on Game of Thrones

Joffrey finally exits the throne in the most grotesque fashion and we wouldn’t have it any other way. This spoiled little twat is no longer capable to torment our favorite characters.

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Best Death Scene in a Television Series Second Runner Up:
Lysa Arryn in Game of Thrones

I realize this makes two wins for Game of Thrones but Lysa was another puppy that needed to be put down. Lysa was a horrible, murderous fiend who raged with jealousy over her prettier sister and niece. She breastfed her son well over the appropriate mark (EW) and her nostrils were pestering the lot of us. In a way, she resembled the crypt keeper….

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Best Television Series:
Give yourself a hand, Game of Thrones. Readers, don’t act so surprised.

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Best Television Series First Runner Up:
The Leftovers is a true awakening that many of you haven’t even taken the time (if any) to acknowledge. Do yourself a favor, get your hands on these episodes. Stop what you’re doing right now and watch this heart-wrenching tale that follows the remaining human race after millions of humans suddenly disappear off the face of the Earth. There’s a group of people running around in white sweats that refuse to speak and they chain smoke while terrorizing those who are looking for answers. It’s easy to get lost in the story as your addiction and longing for answers grow. The performances are unbelievable and it’s based on a book as well. This may interest those of you who are obsessed with “The Rapture.” The series’ musical score also happens to be the best score in a series of 2014. Did I mention that Justin Theroux is hot?

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Best Television Series Second Runner Up:
This is a tie between The Walking Dead and True Blood. The Walking Dead has become tedious and uneventful. For me anyway. Maybe it’s because the zombie genre is played out and they do try to shove characterization down our throats in the worst possible way. I find very few characters likeable, Darryl and Carol standing out as my two favorite characters and I know I am not alone here. Disagree all you want but I am ready for AMC to pull the plug. As for True Blood, the past four series were hit or miss. Some episodes are disappointing where others come through with a plethora of excitement. Hell, I rank True Blood ABOVE The Walking Dead and shows alike because it’s fucking hardcore. What makes Rebekah Herzberg happy? Sex. LOTS OF VIOLENT SEX. Blood. LOTS OF VIOLENT SEX ORGIES COVERED IN BLOOD! Many loyal fans were pissed off about the ending because GEE GOLLY WINKERS, we didn’t get to see the face of the guy Sookie Stackhouse ends up with. You’re missing the point and would likely be unhappy no matter which course the writers would have taken. I felt the ending was justifiable.

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Most Disappointing Television Series:
Penny Dreadful.

Why? Snoozefest. I had no desire to stick around other than the notion that I may get to see Eva Green’s tatas once more. Maybe I will give it another try but it’s not really my bag.

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Most Disappointing Television Series Runner Up:
American Horror Story: Freakshow.

Asylum and Coven stand out as favorites but Freakshow was a disaster. I adore the carnival theme but this season was greatly disappointing Anne Frankly I am getting tired of Jessica Lange and her whispering, raspy voice while the rest of the cast butchers some of my favorite musical numbers. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jessica Lange but I feel she keeps playing the same character over and over.

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Best Moment in a Television Series:
Discovering the origins of the vampire club Fangtasia in True Blood. Fangtasia was originally a video store, oh happy day! We also get to see an emo Ginger.

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Best Female Performance in a Film:
Essie Davis in The Babadook

 

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Best Male Performance in a Film:
Pat Healy in Cheap Thrills

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Best Score in a Film:
Under the Skin

Mica Levi’s haunting musical styling in Under the Skin tug at your heart strings which helped to make this film more effective for our viewers.

He's excited about his part in the film

Best Death Scene in a Film:
Wrong Turn 6.

I have NEVER been a fan of the Wrong Turn series. It’s not that I find the films to be pretentious with poor performances. The killer inbreeders in the woods is a sub-genre I have never been partial to. The death scenes do deserve a little attention though. In Wrong Turn 6, a biker’s eye sockets are tangled in barbed wire before her head explodes. So much EW!

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Most WTF Moment on Film:
The fucking walrus in TUSK!

Tusk wasn’t one of the better films in 2014 but it certainly wasn’t the worst. When I wasn’t too busy laughing my ass off at the comedic tones I was questioning if what I was seeing was really happening. Fleetwood Mac’s “Tusk” plays in the background during the film’s climax which had me giggling like a little school girl. Michael Parks is a God and we get a lovely cameo by a well known actor which will remain a secret on this post.

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Most Bizarre Film:
Lars Von Tier’s Nymphomaniac.

This director’s films tend to be depressing as Tier himself suffers from manic depression. I enjoyed the first half of the film while the second half shifts my mood and declines rapidly. There are a few scenes that had me feelings uneasy and violated.

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Most Surprising Film:
Oculus.

It doesn’t belong in the top three but it was one of the better horror films of 2014 which I did not see coming considering how much I hate newer, mainstream horror.

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Most Disappointing Film:
Ouija.

I really wanted to like this film. Even though I do not believe in the supernatural or workings of the board, I still expected more out of this nifty idea. Kevin Tenney’s Witchboard is the better choice.

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Goriest Film:
Gun Woman!

This also happens to be a favorite of mine from 2014. An emotionally and physically crippled doctor takes a young drug addict in and trains her to be the ultimate assassin so he can avenge his murdered wife.

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Scariest Film:
The Babadook.

This is  not  your traditional horror film. Seldom do horror films scare me and are effective enough to linger around in my imagination, plucking away at my nerves. The Babadook is one of the few. At times I found the monster’s noises silly but the overall imagery was beyond disturbing. Glimpses of the monster creeping over the ceiling was a real eye widener with a chilling sensation and cold feeling in my stomach. Geek Juices own Brad Jones commented, “I watched The Babadook alone in the dark and about shit myself the entire time.” What made this entry so effective were the powerful performances from both the mother and son along with the glimpses of this monster. This is what negative critics fail to understand. Single mothers will be the only audience members who can truly identify with the sheer terror, leaving them in tears.

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Best Found Footage Film:
As Below, SO Above.

Something about the gateway to hell automatically has me transfixed. It’s a story line that often steals my attention despite how terrible the film may or may not be. This film contains a great deal of haunting images and it’s off to a slow start but eventually picks up the pace with non-stop action.

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Best Found Footage Film Runner Up:
The Taking of Deborah Logan.

Many of you will argue that Logan deserves the win but you have to remember that we all have extraordinary taste in art. I’m not even a fan of found footage films so you’re lucky I watched it in the first place. The story of Deborah Logan is a unique one but the film doesn’t know its limits and takes it a step too far. The image below almost earned a spot in the Most WTF Moment on Film. It’s also a character study. This is what most horror films are missing, erratic characters that stand out. Deborah’s daughter Sara stands out as an alcoholic lesbian wearing men’s clothing.

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Best Film:
Cheap Thrills.

Finally! Some originality. This is when a night of bets and desperation for cash goes too far.

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Best Film Runner Up:
Housebound.

The film’s sarcastic tone and tasteful jump scares succeed in separating it from all the other ‘haunted house’ stories. There is also one freaky ass Teddy Bear that puts Chucky to shame!

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Worst Film:
VHS Viral.

These VHS films are a slap in the face to real VHS collectors. I personally like some of the directors from the first installment but I do not care for the franchise and this last entry was a joke.

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Best VHS Find:
Gator Bait I and II

Nearly impossible to find hicksploitation with Claudia Jennings. It appears to be available on DVD now.

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Best VHS Trade:
The Forest

I traded my massive Magnum tape of Poor White Trash finally so that I could widen my Prism clam collection. Fair trade. Excuse the poor quality from my phone camera.

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Most Random WTF VHS Covers:

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About The Author
Rebekah Herzberg
Rebekah Herzberg
VHS collector, horror fanatic, and lover of the 80's neon night life. I once ate a Texas BBQ burger compiled with Mac and cheese and fried green beans. I celebrate Hanukkah.

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