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Movies for the Week of October 24th, 2014

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Ouija

ouija-posterAlex Jowski: If talking to the dead was so simple and commonplace that anyone could go down and pick up a Ouija board for $9.99 then why bother with funerals and grieving? “Oh, so-and-so died? Well I could just call them up on the Ouija – simple as sending a test message.” This movie is based on a false premise and I’ll have none of that. I have hard time believing that someone made this movie seriously – that these actors are actually delivering lines and portraying these scenes with conviction. This looks like a great comedy.

Mike White: In the vein of Battleship the movie and Twister the movie comes Ouija. Not to be confused with Witchboard, the preview for this movie seems like it’s going to be a by the numbers spookshow and completely uninteresting. Phisass.

Alexander Hutt: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *breathe* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. A seven year old hiding under the sheets is more scary than this is. I’ll think I’ll go play Alien: Isolation instead to get my scares this Halloween/Samhain.

Charley McMullen: No, it actually is a game. Milton Bradley made ouija boards. How scared can I be of a portal to the underworld if it’s made by the same company that makes Operation, Connect Four and Shenanigans? Add to that my suspicion that you may not be able to enjoy this movie if you don’t believe in any of that shit. This is the kind of plot that makes my eyes roll a lot. In that respect, this would be good for a handful of cheap jump scares, so maybe a one-time midnight screening for shits and giggles, but nothing beyond that.

Nuttawut Permphithak: A mysterious force (or ghost?) tries to kill a group of teenagers. Why? They accidentally piss off a ghost or because evil forces are bored and want to “play” with someone else?

Nonetheless, I think it’s not a type of horror film I’m going to watch.

Chris Ranta: his trailer looks like it used iMovie’s “Horror Movie” template. All jump scares, lazy editing, it looks fucking retarded. This looks like some shit Michael Bay would produce!
*goes to IMDb*
…… For fuck’s sake……
I’m booing this crap more than Doug Walker and Brad Jones did at the end of their Sharknado review. Fuck this shit!

William Wright: No, not interested. Not only was this trailer boring as hell, but I find the whole mystery about the power of Ouija board to be really silly. Also, what is going on in horror films where it seems that actors have only two modes, no emotion and/or just screaming. This movie is not how I would wish to spend my Halloween.

mister X: aka JUMPSCARE:THE MOVIE ~loud noise!~

there are not enuff ‘mehs’ in the world to convey how little that interested me

About The Author
Justin Widerski
Justin Widerski
Justin Widerski aka Etrigan Blood is a time-traveling alien ginger with a penchant for sarcasm and a weakness for muffins. Into comics, horror, anime, video games, Star Trek, Doctor Who, etc… Justin is a jack of all trades when it comes to geek fandoms, but a master of none. He started doing film reviews as a way to appease the voices in his head, but after getting proper medication he just does them for fun and in the pitiful hopes of doing it professionally. Justin's dabbled in podcasting, with a total 2 1/2 failed shows and used to be creative director on a local cable program called YRU-Up. He currently studies Film/TV at *redacted* and is a news writer for Geek Juice.

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