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September 20, 2017

LNG – PERDITA DURANGO

Also known as DANCE WITH THE DEVIL in its censored US version, PERDITA DURANGO is Alex De La Iglesia’s adaption of Barry “WILD AT HEART” Gifford’s books…and its absolutely batshit insane. All we’re willing to tell you is that it stars Rosie Perez, Javier Bardem, James Gandofini, Alex Cox, Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, Heather Graham’s sister, Herb Alpert’s SPANISH FLEA and a truck full of frozen human fetuses.

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September 13, 2017

LNG – A NIGHT IN HEAVEN

From the director of JOE, ROCKY and THE KARATE KID comes a film bout an unsatisfied married woman who finds passion in the arms (n package) of the male dancing plank of wood known as Christopher Atkins. Features music by Jan Hammer, one of the most bizarre gay stereotypes we’ve ever seen in a film and an ending you may not expect.

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September 8, 2017

LNG – HERCULES

mister X and Alex Jowski riff a movie made by ‘Lewis Coates’ that is called HERCULES but feels like STARCRASH:COVENANT. It features:

-Sybil’s Dannings

-stop motion not at the same frame rate

-Lou Ferrigno sounding like Barry Bostwick

-greek god lightsabers

and that’s it…except for HERCULES THROWING A BEAR INTO SPACE AND CREATING URSA MINOR!

proceeded by 20 minutes of Batman and Robin NOT fighting Green Hornet and Kato

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August 30, 2017

LNG – CAT PEOPLE

mister X and Alex Jowski take a look at CAT PEOPLE- a VERY loose adaptation of the Val Lewton classic directed by a coke-fuelled Paul Schrader in his icy jewel AMERICAN GIGOLO style, w/Nastassja Kinski, Malcolm McDowell, John Heard and Annette O’ Toole’s nipples with makeup fx by the Burman studio and music by Giorgio Moroder.

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