Director: Uwe Boll
Stars: Linday Hollister, Clint Howard, Michael Pare
I have made it quite known in the past that I am a fan of Uwe Boll’s films. This often gets a varied response from people as why should a film buff like me, someone who “should know better,” be such an avid supporter of a director most people consider to be the worst filmmaker alive? To be brief – the guy has made some great movies, like Rampage, Darfur and Stoic. He clearly knows what he’s doing. Postal was proof enough that these video game adaptations he’s so notorious for are not meant to be taken seriously – that he’s just having fun. Looking at films like Bloodrayne not as a serious horror film or video game adaptation but rather as a campy romp and quasi-parody of film adaptations in general makes it all the more enjoyable. In short, Uwe Boll is the master of the anti-film. A notorious film like Blubberella makes me enjoy Dr. Boll’s work even more.
With Blubberella, Uwe Boll follows the Roger Corman school of filmmaking by using most of the same cast and sets as Bloodrayne 3 which was filmed at the same time as this film. In fact, Blubberella is a parody of Bloodrayne 3 and it is not often that you find a film director with the balls to parody their own work. Clearly, all of those involved knew that Bloodrayne 3 was no masterpiece and seem to have a blast playing the outlandish, comical versions of the same characters they played in the more “serious” vampire flick. Looking at the film just as a comedy though, its terrible. This follows the Freidberg/Seltzer style of parody with unnecessary and inappropriate references to other films, infuriating anachronisms and constantly reusing the same sight gag that never worked the first time. The joy in watching Blubberella comes not from the lame and jokes (which mostly offend more than entertain), but in watching how much fun the director and cast are having as they just goof around and kind of make this movie up as they go along – everyone is just smiling as they do this. It’s like this serves as a 90 minute blooper reel. Every actor seems to be trying to outdo each other in a contest to see who can be the most offensive – this isn’t so much a movie as much as a dirty improv show. There is also the added benefit of watching this as one would watch a car chase on television – just to see how far Uwe Boll is going to go and what is he going to try and get away with. After all, this is the same director who started off Postal with a horribly offensive joke about 9/11… can he out do himself here? He does, more or less.
The story, what very little of it there is, is the same as Bloodrayne 3 only instead of Rayne fighting vampires and nazis we now have Blubberella (Lindsay Hollister) as our “superhero” half woman/half vampire. Of course there are COUNTLESS fat jokes and very few of them are ever funny. In 90% of her total screen time, Blubberella is eating something – be it a piece of meat or just some bread. She teams up with some resistance fighters: Nathaniel Gregor (played by Boll regular Brendan Fletcher) and Vadge (Boll regular William Belli). Both actors are reprising the same roles as they did in Bloodrayne 3, the only slight difference is Belli’s character was Vasyl in Bloodrayne 3 but changed to Vadge here because the character is gay. Vadge’s on screen introduction actually just says: “Vadge (or whatever is German for faggot).” Similar to the litany of fat jokes for Blubberella – there are a billion gay jokes about Vadge – few of them funny and most of them pretty damn offensive.
Also reprising their roles from Bloodrayne 3 are Clint Howard as Dr. Mangler (same as in Bloodrayne 3), Steffan Mennekes as Lt. Kasper Jaeger (same character), Annett Culp as Magda Markovic (same character), Davorka Tovilo and Dora Lipovcan as protitutes (sane characters) and Michael Pare as The Commandant (Commandant Ekart Brand in Bloodrayne 3). In addition to the same cast and sets it is quite clear that this was filmed alongside Bloodrayne 3 as the blooper reel at the end of this movie also includes bloopers that are clearly from the former film.
Very few of the jokes in Blubberella are ever actually funny. Maybe there will be one every now and then that will provoke a chuckle but the vast majority of them usually provoke a facepalm and a “that was the stupidest joke I’ve ever heard.” As I mentioned before, it’s quite similar to the Friedberg/Seltzer style of parody which is the stupidest “jokes” ever, anachronistic pop culture references, and horrifyingly bad nods to other films for no reason. However, the difference here is that why Friedberg/Seltzer are attempting to be funny with their awful jokes – Uwe Boll is just trying to be offensive; for Bluberella it’s not about how funny the joke is – it’s about how tasteless it is and how many lines it crosses. There are two scenes I’d like to talk about that do this. First, there is a flashback sequence that comes out of nowhere and has no context to the story. Blubberella recalls life with her mother and it’s essentially a parody of Precious. First of all, Precious is not a film that lends itself to parody very well – it is an urban drama about poverty, rape and incest which are topics one simply does NOT joke about. Added to that is the fact that William Belli is in drag and blackface performing a racial stereotype of Monique’s character in Precious. There are actually nothing in this scene that can be considered a “joke,” as it is simply Belli calling Hollister a fat whore over and over again. The scene is just an attempt to be as tasteless and offensive as possible and it succeeds. The scene is so unfunny and tasteless one can’t help but laugh at the audacity of it. One may think this is absolute racism but having seen Boll’s earlier film Darfur its quite evident that Uwe is not a racist – he is simply being intentionally offensive as Boll is wont to do.
The other scene I would like to bring up is the whole sequence where Uwe Boll makes an appearance as Adolph Hitler. He has with him one of their “allies from Africa” which is Brendan Fletcher in blackface and a nazi uniform performing a racist stereotype. Just how racist is this caricature? Well, every other word is “motherfucker.” They discuss the war, play a game of Risk, view online profiles for single guys on a Hebrew dating website, discuss mass genocide and then cook some food together. Like the Precious spoof earlier this scene does not exist to be funny and crack jokes – it exists simply to astound its audience at how offensive it is. I laughed simply because Boll’s tastelessness is hilarious though the scene itself is not.
In the end, Blubberella is actually a terrible film. It is a mess of unfunny jokes and outright offensiveness… just like it is supposed to be. One is either in on this joke or the victim of it. Uwe Boll is Hollywood’s equivalent of an internet troll. The humor comes not from the movie itself but from the reaction of angry people who were gullible enough to take it seriously. Well played, Dr. Boll, well played.