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Movies for the Week of May 23rd, 2014

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Mike White: Here’s the story, of a lovely lady, who was bringing up two homely boys. It’s also the story, of a man named Sandler, who was busy with three girls of his own. One day this lady met this fellow and they had a horrible date where the lady spit her food all over the fellow because it’s funny. Then all of them managed to go to Africa because that’s funny too. Hilarity ensues and soon they’ll overcome their differences and become one big happy family. And those are the reasons I won’t see Blended (despite the appearance of Terry Crews).

Alex Jowski: So which Adam Sandler vacation video are we watching this time around? Oh, it’s AFRICA! Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore in Road to Africa, The follow-up to their last collaborative effort Road to Hawaii. It’s like Adam Sandler has become Bob Hope and Bing Crosby melded into one person making just travelogue movies. There’s a story? Well kind-of but it’s mostly a contrivance to get to that set photography and antics in a different place. At least Drew Barrymore has more talent than the entire supporting cast of the Grown-Ups movies so this should be far more tolerable.

Martha Page: I know lots of people been hating on Adam Sandler but I like him and I definitely gonna be watching this movie!

Cecil Trachenberg: Aside from Grown Ups 2, Sandler had a pretty bad run of movies not making their usual bazillion dollars. So it only makes sense he would go back to the well once again and do yet another romantic comedy with Drew Barrymore. It looks as bland as ever and will probably do well. I just don’t care at all about any of this.

Justin Widerski: Come on Drew Barrymore you’re really dragging down the family name here. Well it doesn’t look AS bad as the other Happy Madison productions. I mean it doesn’t look funny in the slightest, the characters seem like assholes and I’m fairly certain that no one in the movie will be well written enough to act like a real human being but it doesn’t look AS bad. Oh fuck it spoiler alert if you’re going to see a light-hearted rom-com this weekend go see Words and Pictures. Don’t waste your time and your money on the white Tyler Perry and his piss-poor attempts at comedy.

mister X: nothing i can say bout this trailer will be snarkier than the truth:

also-this movie reportedly cost $40 million…don’t u just SEE all that cash on the screen?

Mistress J: Ummmmm…. Just gonna say I’m very grateful I don’t have to see this for the midnight screenings…

About The Author
Matthew Coats
Matthew Coats
Formerly known under the pseudonym of Alex Jowski. Site owner, movie aficionado, and film school grad. Matthew Coats presents reviews, some written, some as vlogs, and some as weekly shows, for a variety of different movies and television shows. After years of struggling to get his own projects off the ground amidst the normal routine of living, Matthew Coats decided to create a site in order to share and promote movie reviews, video games and much much more from talented and original people all across the internet.
  • Tim Terrell
    May 28, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    “I always respected Maleficent. Everyone in the kingdom gets invited to a party except her so she curses Sleeping Beauty and the entire kingdom. That’s not evil. That’s just justice.”
    This is 1) sociopathic and 2) the kind of attitude that comes from “Entitlement”.

    @Martha: You don’t like Jolie? Turn in your movie reviewer card now..

    • jwiderski
      May 28, 2014 at 4:20 pm

      For not liking Jolie? Out of all things Martha’s said that’s not the one she would get her “reviewer card” lost for, not that she should. I’m not a particular fan of Jolie. Out of all the movies I’ve seen her in I’ve liked her in very few.

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